


Like nails on a chalkboard

by heavymetalqueen26



Series: Baggins AU's [5]
Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - High School, Highschool Teacher! Bilbo, I really didn't know if they wanted this shippy or not... so it is!, M/M, Not a creeper Smaug, Possessive Fíli, Possessive Kíli, Protective! Kíli, Teacher-Student Relationship, protective! Fíli, request
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-12
Updated: 2013-06-27
Packaged: 2017-12-12 03:58:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,677
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/806957
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heavymetalqueen26/pseuds/heavymetalqueen26
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When a promise is made it must be kept. Even if that promise was made on accident, and Durins always make sure a promise is kept, always.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Syxx](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Syxx/gifts), [Dramaya](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dramaya/gifts).



> This is for SYXX, who I promised a story, sorry I made you wait so long dear. It's just that the last chapter of Death is but a loop back to you is giving me trouble, so much trouble, like I have rewritten it 4 times trouble.

There are a few things that Bilbo Baggins, Erebor High school history teacher, hated; at the very top of the list was the sound of nails on a chalkboard. Before he started teaching high school he didn't think that there could be any noise that could have the same reaction, he was wrong. As it turns out two students created the same affect by scraping their desks across the floor.

Not even bothering to give the two trouble makers the satisfaction of gaining his full attention, Bilbo didn't look up from his paper work. Trying to keep his voice calm he spoke slowly, but a bit of desperation dashed in, "Please stop that."

"Stop what?" One of his troublemakers asked while moving a desk for what might be the 30th time.

"You know what Mister Durin."

"No, we don't know what you're talking about, Mr. Boggins." The statement was fallowed by the moving of another desk.

Scrubbing a hand over his face Bilbo let out a sigh of surrender. Daring to glance up for a few seconds from his papers, that needed to be graded for tomorrow, he wasn't surprised to see the Durin twins only a few inches away. It happened every detention, at first the desk would start out a the back of the class room, then within a few minutes the desk were only a few feet away, then they were only inches away.

If he wasn't the only teacher that the two would actually sit in detention for this wouldn't be a problem, but he was the ONLY teacher that the boys would sit through detention for. Dwalin, the only GYM and coach at the school, had tried tying the two to a desk, but that plan failed after Fíli started hiding a pocket knife in his sleeve. Balin, one of the most patient English teachers, tried to keep the boys with promise of snacks, the two would just eat the food in a few seconds and run off, again. Bofur, the school's music teacher, had tried promising shorter time and no homework, the boys didn't take the bait. Thorin, Bilbo's long time friend from collage, Principal of the school, and the boys' uncle, had shouted at the boys and even brought in telling their mother, Dis. None of these tactics worked, the trouble makers only would sit through detention if it was with him.

It wouldn't have been so bad if the boys weren't constantly getting in trouble; from pulling pranks on staff and students, to being VERY disruptive in class. Sadly, that wasn't even the worst part for Bilbo, no the worst part was how they acted around him. They would cause fights with anyone who needed his attention, practically threw themselves at him when school was over, and just hung off him every chance they got.

The specific reason the two were in detention today was because of a water balloon prank on Legolas, and Fili and Kili sent a fellow student to the nurse's office. Smaug, one of Bilbo's brightest but socially awkward students, had a few questions on the current history project that he had assigned. Fili and Kili hadn't taken kindly to it, they had first tried distracting him from Smaug's needs, but Smaug started to grow angry at the two. The taller student had started hissing some very cruel words to the twins, and the whole situation escalated until the three threw themselves into a fight. Fili and Kili had gotten off with only a few bruises, but Smaug, the taller but more delicate one of the three, had been bitten and was sporting a broken nose.

It was Kili who answered his sigh of exasperation, “Are you still mad at us?”

Bilbo glanced at the dark haired twin, watching with thin lips as Kili juggled one of his paper weights, “I'm not mad as so much as disappointed,” Giving the smug Fili a look as the boy tried to snatch a few cookies, the chocolate chip cookies were for students who behaved. “The both of you. Attacking a fellow student is unacceptable, you're lucky that your uncle was able to talk your mother out of castrating you two.”

Kili huffed and slammed down the paper weight, “It's not our fault-”

“It's Smaug's fault.” Finished Fili as the blond twin stuffed half a cookie in his mouth. Bildo frowned in disgust at the boy as he watched the blond twin speak around the mounds of partially chewed cookie. “He shouldn't touch-”

Kili began to play with the stack of already graded papers, as it was his turn to finish his brother's sentence, “What isn't his. He did nothing, but stare at you the whole time, you would think that the snake would remember what we're supposed to do for the project.”

“Make a model of a county of your choosing during 1400 B.C. Really-” Fili spoke after he swallowed the mush that occupied his mouth.

“What isn't straight forward about that?” Kili hissed as he came across one of Smaug's papers, “He should keep his hands to himself.”

Bilbo just raised an eye brow at the two's explanation, knowing that there was little he could do to stop them, the two just simply did what they wanted. Taking a small sip out of his “I'm not half sized, I'm me sized” coffee cup full of the life-saving concoction called tea, He watched as two of his students ranted about Smaug and puffed up like cats. They are possessive like cats too, he thought humorlessly. “Smaug is my student, he can ask me any question he likes,” stopping to give the two a hard look as the twin prepared to interrupt, “And second off, I am his teacher. I don't see why you two keep doing this, you two still haven't apologized to Mr. Greenleaf about covering his car in plastic wrap and stuffing the interior full of ham and mustard.”

Almost as if on cue the tall blond walked by the open door and glared at the twins. The two had attacked the science teacher after Bilbo and him shared lunch, both forgot to bring food and only had $2.64 to both their names. Dwalin and Thorin only laughed at their suffering saying it would teach the two a lesson about being prepared. They didn't speak to the two the whole time they eat their pop-tarts.

The four had been friends since collage, all of them studying to become teachers, only some were farther along then others. Thorin was in his 4th year, Dwalin was in his 2nd, and Bilbo and Legolas were just starting out. They had been inseparable since, either they were taking classes together or working at the same places, none of them were ever alone or with out one of the others.

Sending Legolas a tight lip smile Bilbo waved as the blond slowly walked past. Watching as the taller man waved back before focusing back on Fili and Kili, as the dark haired twin began to make faces at the tall blond. “Really, Kili, you are in high school.”

Fili elbowed his brother, the two shared a silent conversation with one look, “It's not our fault he is invading our territory.”

Bilbo rolled his eyes, it was nothing but the same old argument. The two never told him the real reason why they acted the way they did around him, it was just always full circle back to “it's not our fault, (insert name here) was going to take what's ours”. Sighing 12he leaned back in his chair, Dwalin did warn him about what he was getting into when he first met the two terrors in front of him.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dwalin's harsh pat was the only thing grounding the small man as the two stared ominously at the simple decorated door for Christmas. The house was lit up with Christmas lights and a plastic Santa in the yard, Bilbo felt as if he was going to be sacrificed rather than spending a nice Christmas eve with friends.

Bilbo swallowed thickly as Dwalin, his best friend after the two enrolled into a baking class, knocked on the door. The bigger man's paws knocking against the wood loudly over the Christmas music blaring from the house. It wasn't 100% Dwalin's fault that Bilbo has social anxieties when it came to meeting new people and Thorin over reacted when the cousins had found out Bilbo had no living relatives to spend Christmas with. That didn't mean that he wasn't going to silently curse the burly man in his head.

A kind looking man opened the door, his beard as impressive as Dwalin's, but not as intricate. Enveloping Dwalin into a strong hug the two began to speak in cheerful voices.

“Good to see you, brother, and who is this?” The kind man spoke softly, Bilbo tried not to stare like his did when he became nervous, and no he wasn't staring at the man's receding hairline, nope.

“This here is Bilbo.” Dwalin's voice echoed into the hall, the big man pulling Bilbo into a friendly one armed hug.

“Bilbo Baggins, it's a pleasure to meet you.” Bilbo stuttered out nervously as he took the friendly man's hand.

“Balin, same,” Balin smiled as he watched Bilbo nervously fiddle with a backpack strap, “I've been hearing a lot about you from Thorin and my Brother.”

Dwalin gave a nervous laugh, “Now don't start that, you'll scare him off.”

“Pish-posh, I can't do anything worse then what you or Thorin can do.” Balin rolled his eyes tenderheartedly. “You and Legolas are quit the talk of the family, not many people can put up with the Durin line.”

Bilbo let himself be ushered in to the warm house, the house was full of people. Every one was jammed in to the living room like sardines, he was over run with people and their need to invade his space. He was grateful for his small size as it allowed him go unnoticed by the mob as he slipped away. It wasn't that he wasn't thankful to Thorin and Dwalin for bullying him into spending the winter break with the two, Legolas not-so-silently egged them on, it was just that he wasn't used to such a big family, and the Durin family was BIG. Bilbo's mind was scrambling to try and remember the horde of people he was introduced to. He happily escaped from the horde under the guise of getting something to drink, even though there was enough food and drink to feed half the state in the jammed room.

Slowly tottering his way to the kitchen he almost missed the heart wrenching sobbing coming from a closet. Stopping to press an ear up against the wooden door, only to confirm it wasn't one person sobbing, it was two. Biting his lip nervously, hoping it wasn't another prank, like the one that lead him to being stuffed in a closet with Legolas for 4 hours, he called out softly.

“Hello.” He was answered by a loud wail and some shushing. Waiting for a proper reply Bilbo took his weight off the door.

“Go away Dain,” The vicious reply came from the other side of the door, it was almost inaudible over the hiccups and sobs. Bilbo remembered a Dain, the lad was one of Dwalin and Thorin's cousins, only 12 years old. He could only guess that the two or more sobbing children were hiding form the 12 year old.

Slowly opening the door with a small twist of his wrist, Bilbo popped his head into the small closet. Sitting on the floor were two boys, no more then 6 years old. Both looked like copies of the other, the only difference being one was blond and the other was a brunet. Their eyes were the same blue as Thorin's, Bilbo noted as the two looked up at him with watery eyes.

Smiling softly he spoke to the boys as one does to cox out a wild animal, “As you can see I'm not Dain, I'm Bilbo Baggins.”

The blond looked at him suspiciously, but the brunet whipped away tears and looked up at him in wonder, “Are you the Mister Boggins Uncle Thorin was talking about?”

“It's Baggins,” Bilbo confirmed with a humorless smile, opening the door wider to invite the two into the light of the hallway, he made a simple hand motion of come along when the two didn't move. “I think you two need some hot chocolate and those cookies Dwalin tells me so much about.”

The brunet bounced over to hold onto his pant's let in a death grip, “Really, Mister Boggins, really? Fee, Fee, we're going to get hot chocolate!”

The blond just glanced between his bouncing twin to Bilbo, slowly the small boy nodded. Taking Bilbo's hand lead the way to the kitchen. He didn't put up much fuss when he was set onto a tall stool by Bilbo, instead he talked to his twin in a whisper and glanced at the short man who began to search the kitchen.

Bilbo tried not to pay too much attention to the boys as they stared at his back, it was something he was going to have to get used to if he was to become a teacher. It took him a few minutes to find the ingredients he needed for hot chocolate, but finding the cookies was easy, Dwalin had told Bilbo where they were many, many times. He began to hum nervously under his breath as he began to slowly boil the milk, he never used the microwave for hot chocolate. He was a little unnerved by the two boys, who decided that they were only going to stare at him.

“Do you go to big school with Uncle Thorin?” The one Bilbo wasn't so sure if his name really was Fee asked.

Bilbo nodded as he looked away from the still not boiling milk, he needed to find two small plates for the cookies. “Yes sir,” the two let out a small giggle at that, “I'm going to become a teacher, just like your Uncle.”

The brunet spoke excitedly, “What do you want to teach, Mister Boggins?”

Bilbo chose not to try to correct the boy twice, “History and English.”

Fee made a noise of disgust, “But that sooo boring.”

The other twin began to speak, “You should do something cool-”

“Like martial arts or sports” Fee finished his brother's sentence. 

Raising an eye brow Bilbo tried not to respond sarcastically, knowing that the two young boys wouldn't understand. “Well as you can see I'm a bit on the short side, as well as on the soft side.”

The boys laughed as Bilbo petted his belly, he was actually quit fit, if not a bit round. He watched in a mix between amusement and horror as the boys shoved cookies into their mouths like little monsters. Maybe these were the nephews that Thorin constantly moaned about being little monsters. Turning back to the milk, that was now finally boiling, he began to slowly stir in the powdered mix. “And history and English aren't boring, they can be very fun.”

“How?” The brunet challanged.

Fee nodded, “Yeah, Kee's right, how can history and English be fun?”

Bilbo didn't even try to resist rolling his eyes at the two's disgusted tones, “Do you two know who your Great- Great- Great- Great Grandfather Thor was?”

He could piratically hear the two bounce in excitement as they asked who the mysterious man was. Quickly adding in the mini marshmallows to the chocolate mix he began to explain. “Thor Durin was one of the most powerful and greatest generals of his time, he was said to never lose a battle. He,” Bilbo paused to try to phrase the next sentence right for small children, “was carried away by angels during a great battle where he defeated an enemy General Azog.”

“Why did the angels carried him away?” Fee asked his voice full of wonder. It took years to school his features so that Bilbo didn't blanch at children' awful grammar. 

Fetching three mugs, Bilbo began to distribute the hot chocolate into equally sized thirds. “Because his time on earth was done after he defeated General Azog, so the angels took him away to heaven to live in paradise forever.” 

Handing the two boys their mugs, and trying not to wipe off the disturbing amount of crumbs on their faces, he gave a small laugh at the awe on their faces. “And that's why History can be fun and cool.”

The boys gave some vicious nods at his explanation. Leaning up against the counter wondering when someone, Dwalin or Thorin, would come looking for him as he watched the two messily gulp down their hot chocolate. 

He didn't have to wait long till Thorin came stomping in, in one of his mother-hen moods, complaining about how it was unhealthy for him to be so unsocial and how worried Dis was over the boys. Herding the three back into the living room full of people, he was considered very lucky that Dwalin had saved him a seat. It was a tight squeeze, but he managed. 

The whole group watched as Dis, a stout woman with a fiery temper and Thorin's younger sister, gave her boys a talking to. Vili, the boys father, simply laughed at his wife's fit of motherly rage. 

Dis and Vili had been wild teenagers, it was no surprise when Dis became pregnant, it was a surprise when Vili stepped up to the plate and took responsibility. He worked extra hours, and tried to pay for everything he could, the two were lucky that they had the support of their parents. The two turned out to fantastic parents, Vili was calm when Dis wasn't and vice verses, and the two had happily been married 6 years. 

Watching with a small chuckle as the two scattered from their mother's wrath, he gave a little jump when an arm was draped over his shoulders. Whipping his head to the left to the person who didn't understand the meaning of personal space. He was a little surprised to see Frerin, Thorin's brother, the one who stayed in their dorm room for two days, and then got really drunk and puked in his bed. “How's that bed of yours?”

“Clean,” Bilbo cheeks puffed up in anger. The younger man didn't even leave a note or say sorry, and he had spend a pretty penny trying to get the smell and stains out of his sheets.

Frerin gave a nervous laugh rubbing the back of his neck with the other hand, “Yeah, sorry about that. I really did mean to clean up after, but I had to leave for a job at the mines... Sorry.”

Giving a small huff Bilbo gave the taller man a nod, there was nothing that could be done now anyways. Opening his mouth to ask how work at the mines had been when 80ish pounds had inconveniently dropped itself onto his lap had left him a little breathless.

“No, Uncle Frerin!” Fee spoke sternly his voice rising with anger. “No.”

“Mister Boggins is ours, not yours.” Kee spoke up as his brother tried to batter Frerin's arm off of Bilbo's shoulders. The boys' shouting had attracted many of the party members' attention, the three ignored it, but Bilbo squirmed under the curious looks. Kee continued on with his rant, “He gave us cookies and hot chocolate, he's ours!”

Dwalin had slapped his knee in laughter as he watched Bilbo try to untangle form the mess of nephews and uncle. “Careful Bilbo, those two are trouble, we're going to have to whisk you away in the middle of the night.”

The boys and Frerin simply sent the man cheeky looks, claiming Dwalin to be jealous. After a bit of teasing Frerin soon placed his attention back on Bilbo responding to Kee's and Fee's previous claim. “Oh really now? Mr. Boggins, have you burgled your way into the heart of all the Durins?”

“He's no burglar, he's a teacher.” Both Fee and Kee yipped at their uncle.

“Not yet he isn't.” Bilbo scowled at the three, mostly at Frerin for encouraging the boys.

Fee nodded with a determined look, “But he will be and-

“When Mister Boggins is a teacher-” Kee finished and began.

“We'll be his best and favorite students!” The twins finished together, their little fist balled in Bilbo's sweater.

Frerin grinned humorously wide, “What if he moves far, far away to teach?”

Kee looked heart broken and gave Bilbo a hurt look, but Fee just puffed up his chest and said with certainty, “Then we'll move with him, if we have to we'll hide in his boxes and clothes.”

This kind of game continued on all through out the party, Frerin teasing the boys and the boys just continued to claim possession over Bilbo till Dis came to collect the two young ones. After many introductions, and lots of pleading and begging on the boys' part, and a bit of reassurance from Thorin, Dwalin, and Frerin, it was decided that the two would spend the night with Bilbo, giving Vili and Dis a much needed break. 

“If they get to be too much just send them down the hall to us, alright?” Dis spoke sternly shooting her husband a look. Bilbo quickly nodded and excused himself from the mother's piercing gaze.

Bilbo would have been thankful for a few blankets to sleep on, but Thrain, Thorin's father, had given him a guest room of his own. It was in disarray after he spent the next hour trying to get the boys to calm down, but still the bed was in one piece. It took the three of them another 20 minutes to decide who was going to sleep where, but it was worked out by the oldest of the twins.

Fili, formerly known as Fee, decided that Bilbo would sleep between the twins and he would sleep on the right side of the bed. He claimed that he liked sleeping closer to the wall, Kili, formerly known as Kee, claimed that he was lying. After some negotiating from Bilbo the two agree to Fili's sleeping arrangement.

It was 2 o’clock in the morning, Bilbo was almost asleep before his head hit the pillow, he was exhausted after spending so much time worrying over the Christmas eve party, staying up so late without tea, and chasing around two rambunctious boys. He simply closed his eyes and let the two cuddle into his sides, they were really cute when they weren't screaming, causing trouble, or running all over the place.

“Mister Baggins,” Fili spoke quietly into the darkness.

Bilbo simply hummed in recognition, he hoped the two knew what that meant.

“Promise that you'll stay with us forever-” Kili started.

“And that you'll never leave us.” Fili ended, their voices serious and full of insecurities.

With his brain too sleep-deprived to process the sentence, Bilbo simply nodded and repeated the first work, “Promise.”

It turns out that Dwalin's claim wasn't so untrue as Bilbo believed it took hours to calm the two down after they learned that Bilbo, Dwalin, and Thorin had to head back to campus for school. They had to compromise and promise that the boys could come and see the three anytime they wanted. The dorm was always a disaster when the two came to visit and they hung off of Bilbo and fallowed him to his classes, but it was cute.  
\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“We're soo bored-” Fili ripped Bilbo from his thoughts.

“Can we go now?” Kili finished, pulling on Bilbo's sleeve. 

The two looked ready to fall asleep, rolling his eyes he knew that he couldn't keep them much longer, “Fine, detention is over.”

Instead of jumping out of their seats like he expected them to, the boys simply made eye contact with each other. What ever conversation that had took place with a glance the two seemed to agree on something. So when the two simple moved their desk back to their proper places, Bilbo couldn't resist giving the two a suspicious glance.

Letting out a huff at the two's innocent looks, Bilbo decided it wasn't worth the effort and went back to grading papers. If the boys were up to something it was out of his hands, simple as that, he thought to himself. Sliding his, too big, office chair back so he could lean over the papers comfortably, he let out a squawk as his axis took a dive to the right very fast. Griping onto the warm body on his right when the same event happened on his left, his body gave an involuntary shutter from primal fear of falling. 

Feeling the two bodies give a chuckle as they simply cocooned him in warmth, he felt his face heat up in embarrassment. Pulling back to shout at the two as they tried to rest their heads on the top of his, “What are you two doing?”

Fili and Kili gave no response to the shorter man's protest and embarrassment, even if he did just shout in their ears, instead they just buried their noses into their history teacher's bronze curls. Ignoring their teacher's squawks and protest of how he couldn't do any work if the two didn't grow up, they just simply muttered, “Promise.”

Huffing Bilbo knew that there was no way in heaven or hell to remove the two unless they wanted to be move, he simply pulled his desk closer so he could continue grading his papers till the two decided to let him up. And besides he thought as he glanced out the window, it was raining, and these two never brought an umbrella, which meant he would have to take them home any ways.

During Bilbo's grading if Thorin and Dwalin walked by, they didn't say if they made note of the two young boys cuddling around Bilbo. Just like if Bilbo took note of their clasped hands, he didn't say anything either.


	2. Conflict

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As requested, I'm sorry if it doesn't meet up to standards, but I'm not very good with conflict... So I don't really like writing it...

He really liked teaching, he liked it when his students paid attention. Especially when there were little-to-no distractions, that was his favorite time to teach. He didn't like it when two of his most disruptive students weren't being themselves.

 

It may sound insane, but it was disturbing to teach when Fili and Kili weren't being themselves. The two weren't sharing mischievous looks or shouting for his affection. That alone sent shivers of fear up his spine, he looked around constantly to see if the apocalypses just started. No, the sky was still blue, and the clouds weren't in a swirling vortex of doom.

 

Even Smaug had spoken about his worry, he wasn't very fond of the two, but he was deeply disturbed by the lack of disaster. He had gone two days without being pushed down the stairs, dodging flying objects that were shot from his locker, or even having to use a metal-detector to find his keys in the school's lawn. It was nice, but it also kept him from sleeping at night. He had approached Mr. Baggins and wasn't brutally assaulted, and that was just wrong.

 

Bilbo bit his lip as he tried to lead his lesson, he had a strict no-homework policy. All homework was done in class and counted as both in-class-assignments and homework, his students didn't complain and he had less papers to grade. His current concern wasn't trying to spell Great Britain correctly right now, he was too busy trying to figure out what was wrong with his boys.

 

He was still preoccupied by Smaug's and his conversation before class, at first he didn't think it had to do with Fili and Kili til Smaug had grabbed him by the shoulders to make a point. The point was that Fili and Kili weren't there to throw themselves at Smaug, no the two had shown up late, both sporting a few bruises.

 

Fili hadn't looked Bilbo in the eye the whole class, he was to busy staring out the window. His blue eyes only blinked when his blond hair escaped its ponytail. Other than that he didn't move, not even when Elrond started using his hood as a trash can. He didn't move when Smaug had stolen his paper and tried to pass notes to him, he just sat there, waiting. Fili had only moved when Bilbo had gave a small curse after hitting the desk, then he looked ready to scoop up the smaller male and hall them both to the nurses office.

 

Kili was by far the worst though. He came in stomping, flopped down into the nearest chair, not caring it was Bard's. Blue eyes fixed on his desk and his hair free and rumpled, he would spontaneously snarl at the graffiti on his desk, still not meeting Bilbo's eyes. Even when Tom, the large troll of a boy, had tried to use his back as a foot rest, the brunet didn't move. He looked like a volcano ready to explode, his fist would clench at his sides every time Bilbo would fumble over the lesson. He had kicked the desk of more than a few students for trying to correct the short male.

 

This was getting ridiculous, the two hadn't fought since they were twelve.

 

* * *

 

He didn't know how marathon runners did it, the last stretch of anything was the worst for him. Bilbo mussed as he sat in dorm room, it was his last semester of his Major, he didn't think he could make it. He felt more like rolling under his bed and pretending that he didn't have to go to school on Monday and hand in his paper about the Mayan's social system and hierarchy. He would much rather sit in his dorm with a nice cup of cuppa and not revise his paper on his one day off.

 

It was times like these that he wished that he had more money, he had money, but his work ethics were against using the funds his parents had left him unless it was an emergency. Which was the problem with working a full time job and going to school, he couldn't breeze through a four year degree like Thorin, Dwalin, and Legolas. Luckily he wasn't alone, every one was trying to get their Masters and PhDs.

 

What he wasn't so lucky about: was that Legolas was off on a date with some pretty blond girl, and Thorin had ran off in a hissy-fit because Dwalin had a date with a cute little carrot top boy, thus the two weren't speaking to each other, again. So he was home, alone, by him self, contemplating how he was going to spend Singles Awareness Day, or more commonly known as Valentines day.

 

Groaning he rolled over into the pink plaid pillow that he hated, it was a gift; it was wrong to get rid of a gift. Especially one made by hand by two little boys who adored him. Even if the pillow smelled akin to a gym locker when he first got it, he praised the two eight year old boys and kissed their heads. He wasn't that upset, the pillow was great to scream into when Dwalin and Thorin were being specially difficult, in the sexual tension kind of way.

 

He would be going out, but then Dis wouldn't have anyone to babysit while Vili and her have a nice romantic evening. Everyone had promised to be there, but it was going to be just him. Taking care of two 12 year old boys, by himself. Oh sweet mother of God.

 

He'd rather revise his report.

 

His pity party was interrupted by the sturdy knock of a mother trying to hand off her children. Bilbo wasn't surprised to see Dis all dressed up, she looked lovely, but he was a bit discouraged by the amount of makeup she wore. Nodding as the boys were all but shoved into his arms, the three watched to mother run down the stairs in stiletto heels.

 

“Well then,” Bilbo breathed, “She sure was in a hurry.”

 

“Yep, dad has a reser- reservation and their late!” Kili supplied happily as his brother and him griped Bilbo's hand tightly.

 

Bilbo hummed shaking his head, he liked Dis, he really did, but like her boys she could be over bearing. She also didn't give anyone a proper hello half the time, she mostly bullied everyone into doing what she wanted and left when she got it. Pulling the boys back inside he figured that she wouldn't come to get Fili and Kili til sometime tomorrow.

 

“Now, who wants some ice cream?” Bilbo asked as he made his way to the tiny freezer, it wasn't big, but it was enough to sate their needs. Thorin and him had gone to the store and bought a lot, after Dwalin announced a date with an art major. Shopping with a drunk, angry Thorin was much more fun than it sounds.

 

“We do, we do!” Fili and Kili sang as they melded to Bilbo's side, impatiently waiting for the little tubs of goodness. They happily snacked through half the containers of ice cream while watching TV, Bilbo not really caring that they had control of the remote.

 

The boys snuggled up against Bilbo, they had grown a lot since they first met him. They now toward over the shorter man by a few inches, they were going to be tall, just like their uncle. They were growing out their hair, like their uncle, and both wanted a beard like Dwalin. They dressed like typical boys their age, loose fitting pants graphic tees, and hoodies that were rarely washed. Bilbo could smell Kili hadn't washed his in weeks.

 

Fili yawned as he happily ate his rocky-road ice cream, his golden hair clipped back out of his face with hairpins. He curled up around Bilbo's shoulder, wholly socks rested on the shorter man's calf. Blinking slowly at the TV, he broke the calming silence with a question. “Where is everyone?”

 

“Legolas is on a date with some woman, I don't know who she is. Dwalin has a date with some one too, don't know the lads name, but he's very sweet. And your uncle is out getting drunk because he is beyond depressed.” Bilbo sighed, romantic comedies were anything but. Who is this Edward character fooling, he wears more makeup than the main female lead.

 

“Oh, why don’t they just make out?”

 

“Kili!”

 

The brunet just shrugged, shoveling sherbert into his mouth. His brown hair falling over Bilbo's thigh, his head pillowed on the shorter man's hip. His ice cream tub tucked near his belly and his knees touching Bilbo's, he liked this a lot.

 

Bilbo grumbled down at the boy, “You don't just make out with someone, if you want a relationship you have to work at it, not just be... making out all the time.”

 

“If I was old enough I would just make out a lot too.” Fili shrugged agreeing with his brother. “We'd be serious of course, but Kili isn't very good with words, so we'd have to show our affection through kisses.”

 

“Oi!”

 

Bilbo rolled his eyes as he watched the two push each other around him. The two had decided at a young age that they would share their future lovers. The two weren't in love with each other, but they couldn't separate from their twin. The thought of someone “stealing” their brother terrified them, Dis and Vili had tried to reassure the two that it was alright for them to care about different people, but knew that it was way out of their sons' comfort zones. The family had excepted that who ever loved one of the twins would have to love the other, he didn't find anything wrong with what the boys decided. It was their choice and he would respect that, and if someone did give into to the two terrors demands he felt equally bad for that one individual as he did if they had cancer.

 

The boys decided it would be easier to just wrestle on Bilbo than to have a conversation, the wound themselves around the older man. The tubs of ice cream were now every where, on the cheep carpet and in the bed sheets, while Bilbo tried to run away from the over excited boys.

 

Everything stilled as Thorin flung open the door with much more force than necessary. The whole dorm room stilled, the only sound coming from the TV and Thorin's boots as the man stormed over to his bed and flopped down. He had obviously had a good time, as was depicted by the older mans ruffled clothes, black eye, and make up stains.

 

“Black tea with mint, lemon, and honey?” Bilbo asked under Fili and Kili.

 

Thorin rolled over a bit and grunted an affirmative. He didn't stay out late when he went drinking, he would come home early and demand to be mothered by Bilbo. Never had he demanded for Dwalin, who usually lead him to drink til he couldn't walk strait.

 

Bilbo crawled out from under the boys and waddled over to the small kitchen-like area. It wasn't much a a kitchen, it only had a small burner that was stolen from the science department, a mini fridge, and a microwave. It suited them and their needs, it was hard to sneak the burner into their new, and much larger, dorm when they were approved for their move in with Dwalin and Thorin, but he and Legolas did it.

 

Humming he set the kettle on the burner, the dorm was large, with two separate bed rooms and a living area, but it was sometimes a struggle for four grown men to share. Shaking his head Bilbo just leaned back and watched as Fili and Kili began to engage their miserably drunk uncle.

 

“Uncle, how was drinking?”

 

“Shitty, don't drink, you just keep torturing yourself with what you want to forget.”

 

“Then why do you drink?” It was Kili who asked this time, he was still snugly under his brother, biting his lip.

 

“Because I want him to come looking for me,” Thorin mumbled from behind his arm, he was a brutally honest drunk, another reason why he never drank around Dwalin. “I just want him to show weather or not he cares, I'm fucking tired of the mixed signals.”

 

Fili gave Bilbo a glance, “Why can't you be happy for him, can't you be happy when he's happy?”

 

Thorin shifted up so that he was sitting on the edge of his bed, staring his nephews right in the eye and swallowed. He supported his nephews, and he loved them deeply, but he was drunk and that meant he was overly honest. “You can't be happy, not when you see them in the arms of another. It hurts like nothing else in this world to know that they love someone else. Nothing will hurt more than seeing them give that special smile to someone who isn't you. It will claw at your soul when you see them kiss someone else, it will make your heart bleed.”

 

“Thorin, stop that,” Bilbo scolded. He face crumpled up in a scowl, his friend was a little too deep for 12 year olds. “Now stop corrupting your nephews and come get your tea.”

 

Dampening a wet towel, Bilbo went to work on cleaning up Thorin's face. He grumbled at the amount of make up on the older man. He watched out of the corner of his eye as Fili and Kili began to whisper to each other furiously. He didn't pay too much attention til Kili and Fili shoved away from the other and moved to opposite sides of the room.

 

Thorin and Bilbo watched with uncertainty as the two didn't move back together. Sending Thorin a viscous glare, Bilbo pushed the cup of tea into the soon to be sobering man's hands. The man's jealous words had obviously upset the twins. Everyone knew the two were dead set on sharing their beloved, they had decided on that person a long time ago, at lest that was how the two talked about it. Hearing the deviating confession from their uncle they idolized as something akin to a god must have done more damage than he first thought.

 

Walking over to Kili Bilbo petted the obviously distressed boy, “Kili what's wrong?”

 

It wasn't that Fili wasn't upset, the boy obviously was, but Kili always took things a lot worse than his brother. Kili would have crying fits and refuse to eat for days, only surviving on crap diet soda. While Fili would stare out the window and depressingly think about what went wrong til the problem was solved.

 

“We can't share, that's what Fili said. We can't share- we can't.” Kili whined into Bilbo's shoulder. He wasn't crying yet, but the boy was shaking.

 

“Fili.” Bilbo called from the top of Kili's head, “Please come here.

 

Fili watched the two with unamused eyes, everyone always went to Kili first. It was Kili who was the youngest and got everything, he would always be second place. He would always have to wait for his turn, just like now, Bilbo went strait for Kili, like he wasn't hurting at all.

 

“Fili, please.”

 

Swallowing Fili left the perch of his uncle's bed. Side glancing over through the open door at his uncle, he saw the dark rings of regret under his idol's eyes. He saw the hurt and the longing, he saw his future. “What?”

 

Kissing the top of Kili's head, Bilbo turned to the shaky blond. He looked over as Fili made a glance over to Thorin. Nodding he gave Fili a look of disapproval. “You don't think you two can share your... beloved?”

 

“No, we can't. You can't love two people, it's impossible.”

 

“It's not impossible, Fili, it's not.” Bilbo sighed as he hugged the boy, “You love both your parents, right?”

 

“Of course I do.”

 

“Do you love your mother more than you love your father?”

 

“No.” Fili trailed off.

 

“Than you love two people equally.”

 

“It's not the same.”

 

Sighing Bilbo moved Fili to sit beside him and join Kili on the Thorin's bed. “It is the same, you love two people equally. You love your parents, you will love them no matter what decisions they make right?”

 

“Yes, but how is it the same as loving two people like a lover?”

 

“You see, your uncle's problem and yours is easily solved. You just have to tell them, you can't play games and dance around them, this is real life.” Bilbo whispered to the boys. “You both can share someone if they love you both, and that isn't hard to do.”

 

Fili hummed to himself in thought, there wasn't much talking after that. The night passed by slowly, Thorin slept easily in his bed. Bilbo was kept awake by Fili and Kili, the two constantly squirming on either side of him. It was almost a relief when the distraction of his classes came about in the morning.

 

The boys had stayed quiet through their microwaved pop-tarts, they munched on them exchanging codded looks. The air, it was just primed with tension. Bilbo gulped his tea nervously, he was waiting for the bomb to drop. Glancing nervously at Thorin, who was still passed out and hung over, Bilbo gave the boys one last look before he prepared to run.

 

“Well, I should go,” Bilbo spoke hurriedly, “classes, yes, bye, behave for your uncle.”

 

“Wait!”

 

“No!”

 

Bilbo blinked as the two flung themselves at him, both latching on to his arm, speaking too rapidly for him to understand. He did catch a few words.

 

“Take me with you-”

 

“I promise I'll sit quietly-”

 

“I'll just do my homework-”

 

“Please don't go, I want-”

 

Biting his lip Bilbo tried to push the boys away, they never, never used I, ever. Fili and Kili only used we or our, never my or I. This was getting way out of hand, they were just 12 years old, not full grown adults ready to make a decision. Taking a deep breath, Bilbo schooled his features, “Enough.”

 

Fili and Kili pulled back, they had never heard Bilbo raise his voice, ever. They had never had Bilbo yell at them, even when they broke his favorite and only tea kettle. He always spoke to them in a calm tone, never had Bilbo yelled or got angry, he was just disappointed. And he was beyond disappointed right now.

 

“No,” Bilbo cut of the two as they tried to speak, “I'm sick of this already. You both are being ridiculous. Don't you dare try to tell me that you're not, you both are being worse than five year olds. Enough is enough, do you want me to prove to you that you don't have to make someone chose between you two? Because I will, I'm sick of you both fighting about this, Fili and don't you dare tell me that you both can't share someone.”

 

Bilbo breathed in deeply before he continued on, “I love you both equally, I love you both for who you are individually, but I also can't separate the two of you. I love you both, even if Kili pouts like an eight year old, and even Fili closes off from the world in a silent fit. I love you, you are my boys, alright?”

 

Fili breathed in deeply, his voice a little more than a whisper of air, “You mean it?”

 

“Yes,” Bilbo pulled the blond into a strong hug, Fili buried his nose into the shorter man's curls as clutched his shirt. Not caring about the tears, Bilbo just hummed a soothing song, “Yes, I mean it, every word.”

 

Kili watched, his tears flowing freely. He waited til Fili was done to have his turn, “We- We can share?”

 

Not caring what the boy was asking about specifically, Bilbo just nodded before pulling Kili into a hug. “Yes, you can share.”

 

Bilbo let the boys cling to him, he knew that it would be hard to go back to being the way things were, but they could do it. He ended up giving in and leaving a note for Dis encase she came to get the boys while they were in class with Bilbo.

 

He chuckled as Fili carried his bag, while they walked to his class with him hand-in-hand. It was uneventful, his teacher Mr. Gray didn't put up much of a fuss about the boys being present. Class was the same as always, take notes and hand in papers. The only difference was that Fili and Kili were plastered to his side, making him distracted from the lesson. It wasn't unusual, it was normal for the two to seek his attention. They didn't work as like a team as they normally did, they made him divide between the two equally, almost like a test.

 

Needless to say, Bilbo nearly threw Fili and Kili at Dis when she came to pick them up. Claiming to need to go to work, he left Thorin to deal with his enraged sister and her laughing husband. That cup of Pumpkin spice latte was the best he ever had, regardless that he forgot his gloves.

 

* * *

 

Staring down the two young men, Bilbo made a split second decision. With a voice that wasn't as shaky as it should be, he spoke with authority, “Fili, Kili, meet me after class.”

 

The both looked up at him with wide childlike eyes, he knew that they understood that he was serious. He was done with their little fit, it had gone on for three days, he was done. Narrowing his eyes when he didn't get a nod or a “yes Bilbo/Mr. Boggins”, Bilbo knew now all he had to do was wait, they wouldn't leave, not unless they wanted a ride home with Dwalin.

 

Waiting for class to be over was the hard part, everything seemed to move in slow motion. A few seconds seemed like hours, the waiting was suffocating. The tension filled the air, thick and heavy, it was enough to make one of his students sick. He would wait, he would have to wait, he needed to fix the problem.

 

When the bell rang his students left in a flurry, only Fili and Kili stayed behind, the two shifting nervously in their seats. Bilbo didn't wait for the two to gather their nerves, he didn't even wait for Smaug to finish sprinting out the door. “Now, Talk.”

 

Fili and Kili swallowed, they hadn't heard Bilbo this angry in years. The shorter man was fuming, Fili flinched he wanted nothing more than to jump out the third story window and make a break for freedom. Kili wasn't doing much better, his eyes shifting to the door not-so-subtly.

 

Kili broke the silence, “There is nothing to talk about.”

 

Bilbo's eyes snapped to the young man at the broken whisper. He took in the young man's posture and mood, in pain. Some days he hated just how non-verbal Kili was, “I don't see it that way. You two haven't talked to each other the whole class.”

 

“No reason too,” Fili spoke, his eyes looking out the window again. Kili gave him a burned look.

 

“Oh really, is that why you both are on opposite sides of the room, barely looking at each other or me?”

 

“It doesn't include you.”

 

“It does when you both disrupt my lessons and a hurting each other.”

 

Both Fili and Kili bit their lips at that statement, the hands clenching at their sides. The two flinched again at Bilbo's suggestion.

 

“I could just let your uncle and Dwalin sort this out, since you both have no interest in talking to me.”

 

“No,” They both gave a shout, toppling over their chairs because they stood up so fast. “That's not- we don't.”

 

Bilbo watched the two as they fumbled over their words, speaking in perfect sync. Not giving the boys any pity or slack, he crossed his arms and demanded in a strong tone, “Then tell me what the problem is.”

 

“We... both love someone, who... isn't sure about our feelings for them.” Kili began.

 

Fili finished for his brother, “we don't want to... lose them, so we decided to let them... pick?”

 

“That is the stupidest explanation you both have ever given me- wait, it is the stupidest reason you both had ever given me.” Bilbo grumbled pulling the two into a tight hug, resting his head in the little cove of space between the two's chests.

 

Kili spoke into Bilbo's hair, his eyes focused on the blackboard. “It's not stupid.”

 

“Yes, yes it is.”

 

“No its not,” Fili grumbled, he definitively didn't whine.

 

“Yes it it, if they aren't sure than give them time,” Bilbo pulled back to look the two in the eye. He bumped foreheads with the two lovingly, before he spoke with a teasing tone, “Rushing into a relationship with you two takes a lot of drinking.”

 

“Bilbo,” the two younger males whined into the neck of their teacher, cleverly hiding their own grins.

 

“Now will I get to meet this mystery person?”

 

“Not yet,” Fili spoke his nose itching from Bilbo's collar, “we're going to give them til a year after graduation.”

 

Kili's grip tightening on Bilbo's sleeve as he went more into their plan. “If they aren't aware of our intentions, I REALLY don't know HOW HE COULD MISS it.”

 

“Then we'll tell them and make our intent clear,” Fili smacked his brother in the arm.

 

“And let them decide if they chose to be with us or not.” Kili shoved his brother in retaliation.

 

“Oh,” Bilbo hummed, at lest they thought this through, well as far as the line of Durin can. Letting Kili use him as a shield from Fili's brutal attacks, he rolled his eyes at their maturity level. Watching as Fili tried to sidestep him to grab at Kili's hair he was hit with a thought.

 

“Wait, were you two going to keep up the act til a year AFTER graduation?” Bilbo asked with hysteria.

 

“Yes?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading and supporting my self esteem, you are all fantastical people!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Nori causes trouble and solves everyone's problems.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writers block is getting me down, so this chapter will be much shorter than the others. I will be longer if I can help it.  
> Edit: It got longer, you're welcome.

Of all the rotten things Thorin Oakenshield Durin has ever done to him, THIS had to be the worst, Bilbo thought as he swatted away another wandering hand. The deep chuckle at his back making his face alight with anger. He wasn't upset that he was teaching summer school, no he knew a few of the students who were forced to go. No, his main problem was with who he was teaching with.

Nori Rivers.

Nori was a nice man, older brother of Ori and younger brother of Dori; both whom Bilbo met at the Christmas party and had become quite close too. He wasn't at the Christmas party, the older man serving time for sticky fingers and illegal gambling. He was good with the teens, keeping them entertained, but not letting them get away with too much. Nori had a good sense of humor and was very kind to Bilbo, he also was one of the main reasons that Thorin worked up the “balls” to confront Dwalin after Nori pretended to date the imposing GYM teacher. 

Nori was unfortunately a bit of a pervert, he made a few unsavory jokes, mainly aimed at Bilbo. Had wandering hands, that seemed to always make their way to Bilbo's back side, and still had sticky fingers. Bilbo didn't know how many times he had to force the man to give him back his keys.

“Stop that.”

“Stop what?” 

Bilbo groaned, feeling a bit of deja vu. “You know exactly what; those wandering hands of yours!”

Nori chuckled again, leaning in a little closer, pressing his front to Bilbo's back. Looking over the shorter man's shoulder while Bilbo continued to clean the dishes from the cooking class, for science credit even though a particular science teacher fumed about it. “Oh,” He purred in the shorter man's ear, “Are you going to punish me?”

Closing his eyes, Bilbo bit his lip and counted down from ten. “No, now stop this. It's annoying and I have already told you I'm not interested.”

“Oh you wound me Mr. Baggins,” Nori put his full weight on the smaller man, ignoring the cries of get off me he continued on, “And there I was when I first saw you, and you smiled at me and gave me those orgasmic cookies. It was love at first sight.”

“Mr. Rivers I am serious,” Bilbo grumbled while elbowing the larger man.

“Alright, alright,” Nori laughed, trying to pretend as if he was crying. Holding a hand over his heart he fake sobbed, “I'll just go. I'll check on our troubled youth, I will always love you.”

Bilbo snorted and resisted the urge to throw the heavy iron-cast skillet at the man. He probably would have been in a better mood if it wasn't for Thorin and Dwalin, the two had dragged him and Legolas to a bar to celebrate Fili;s and Kili's graduation. The twins had been excited to have a drink and tease their Uncle and Dwalin. The older men had ended up wrestling the two to the floor, while Legolas and Bilbo helped sort out bets from Bofur, Bifur, Ori, and Frerin. He had woken up late the next morning with a hangover, he very much didn't want to teach rowdy teenagers anything. He definitely didn't want to put up with Nori's wandering hands.

“Mr. Boggins!”

Bilbo openly groaned and slumped against the sink, his head ringing from the shout. Of all the teenagers who could have been given drinks, it would be Fili and Kili who get up the next day as if they just drank four sodas. “What are you two doing here?”

“We came to see you-” Kili called with a flourished bow.

“Because we need to ask you a few...” Fili trailed off.

“Questions,” Kili answered shyly.

Bilbo pursed his lips, “About what?”

Fili and Kili flinched at Bilbo suspicious tone. The two slowly taking in the older male's face and appearance. The dark bags under Bilbo's eyes and the defeated posture the shorter man had. “Oh.” the two said together.

“Yes, oh.” Bilbo smiled at the two boys, they were such silly boys. Nonetheless he did relax when the boys plastered themselves to his sides. Enveloping him in warmth, sighing he gave a halfhearted grumble at the two when they nuzzled his temple. “So darn touchy.”

“Only for you,” Fili sang softly, probably with a cheeky grin.

“No other,” Kili hummed, resting his head on Bilbo's shoulder.

“Now what did you really come here to do?”

“Fill uncle's desk with cream cheese-”

“And glue Dwalin's favorite chair to the ceiling.”

“I know nothing as long as you two leave my room alone.”

“Deal,” the two troublemakers snickered.

Nori strolled in casually, his hands in his back pockets. Raising an eyebrow he watched his distant cousins crowd around the smaller teacher. “The troubled youth are subdued. Sup, Fili, Kili.”

“Hey Nori,” Fili called, pushing his brother away as they tried to untangled themselves from Bilbo. Kili shoving back, the two careful not to hit the shorter man between them.

“Hey, can I have a moment with Mr. Baggins?” Nori asked nonchalantly, his shoulders down and his back slumped.

“Sure, why?”

“Because I don't know anything about you two gluing Dwalin's favorite chair to the ceiling,” Nori shrugged, “I sat in it once, nearly lost my teeth.”

Kili laughed while Fili snorted. The two knowing full well that no one, absolutely no one sat in Dwalin's chair without permission. Those who dared, never did it again. The two headed out laughing and shoving each other in childish joy. The two adults watched them leave with small smiles.

“Now what is it you wanted to talk about really?” Bilbo asked, now in a much better mood after a bit of cuddling. Legolas used to say that it was all it took to make him feel better, he had cuddled with all his friends and still did. He liked showing affection to those he cared about, he showered his students with praise and light slaps on the back, and he gave cookies out like a contagious disease, alright that was a bad analogy, but his point remained.

Nori moved forward a bit, til he had Bilbo trapped against the sink, “Oh, just an offer on an anatomy lesson.”

“Nori,” Bilbo huffed with a blush, he thought the man had just been looking for a make-out session, not a one night stand. The fiery haired man just grinned and leaned down closer. Bilbo shivered when hands moved to his sides, “Nori, no.”

“Humm?” Nori asked as his hands moved under clothes, his eyes dark with promises, “I just want a little taste Mr. Baggins, if you don't like it I'll stop.”

Nori leaned in closer, he paused to let Bilbo decide it the shorter man wanted the kiss or not. He was answered with a fierce glare and reddened cheeks. Chuckling he leaned back slightly, til his hands were the only thing keeping the small history teacher trapped. Just as he was about to open his mouth he was shoved aside, a dark blur ramming into him. Flailing around to find balance, he wasn't that surprised to find an angry Fili and Kili standing in the room. Both boys hissing with rage, their faces turned into the famous Durin scowl of death.

Kili moved forward, his hair much wilder than normal and his teeth bared in a nasty snarl, “Don't you dare touch him-”

“Or we will rip off you fucking arm,” Fili finished with a growl, hie eyes just as hard as his brother's. The two standing between Bilbo and Nori, both boys were shaking in rage, their knuckles white and the grinding of their teeth could be heard in the silence of the room.

Putting up his hands in surrender, Nori backed up and waited. The boys not disappointing, Fili sweeping Bilbo off the shorter man's feet, the history teacher shouting at the two with a red face. Kili lingered in the doorway, the teen's face red and eye deathly calm, Nori nodded, he had got the message the first time. His ribs were a testimony of that. Leaning back in the crappy plastic chair, Nori swiped one of the cookies Bilbo conveniently left. Chewing around the sweet treat he sighed at nothing, “I hope they finally put an end to this because I for one am sick of watching them dance around the poor guy.”

Kili fallowed behind his brother, his breathy heavy with anger. A student tried to stop them, one cold look from him quelled the girl's question, she ran off with eyes wide with fear. His anger mounting as he watched Bilbo squirm around as Fili carried the shorter man like a sack of potatoes. Seething he kicked at a locker and swore Nori's name loudly. It was all their cousin's fault nothing was going how they planned.

Fili kicked open the door as Bilbo ceased struggling, he decided it was easier to just hand from the lad's shoulders. He bounced with every step that Fili made, the grumbling from the younger men sending a shiver of fear down his spine. He had never seen the two so angry, never had the two acted like that, not since he told them about one of his ex-boyfriends and ex-girlfriends. The two had thrown a fit about how the small group of people had broke his heart, it was cute and terrifying at the time. It had taken him an hour and a good cup of tea to stop shaking. 

He still hadn't stopped shaking when he was tossed into his heavy chair, the large dark brown chair squeaking in protest at his sudden weight. Pressing backwards at the blond's sudden invasion of his space, the shorter man gave a small whimper at Fili when the young man barked out a harsh question.

“Why did you let him touch you?”

“What,” Bilbo managed to stutter out as Kili slammed the door shut, flinching back when the brunet also turned on him so quickly the young man was slapped in the face by the dark locks.

“You know what,” Kili hissed, the boy's eyes starting to tear up, “He had his hands on you and everything, we saw it, and, and-”

“You just let him touch you,” Fili growled as he cornered Bilbo in, his body shaking with concealed rage. “He had his hands all over you, your face red as he leaned in. We. Fucking. Saw. It.”

“There was nothing to be seen! He was looking for something I wasn't going to give.” Bilbo cried back at Fili, his nerves shot and his eye's stinging. He nearly collapsed with relief when the boys looked taken back by his outburst.

“You didn't want him like that?”

Bilbo nodded at Fili's question, the blond's shoulders falling as the young man released the chair's leather arms from a death grip. Swearing that he heard the blond breath a small thank goodness, before he was pushed back in his chair by strong lips and hands.

His eyes widened as Fili's chapped lips smothered his in a possessive and desperate kiss. The blond's hands under his shirt, blunt nails scraping along his stomach. While a tongue was shoved in his mouth after he tried to squeak the younger man's name, his head ringing from the force of Fili's teeth clanking against his own.

Fili pulled back slightly, hands never leaving. Bilbo didn't have much time to question or breath as Kili began to assault his mouth as well. The brunet's kiss was much sloppier and needier, the young man wasting no time to shove a tongue his throat. Bilbo squirmed as he tried to find perches while Kili ravaged his mouth and Fili marked his neck with angry bites, both boys touching his skin in ways that sent shivers down his spine.

Pulling back, he finally managed to breath, his voice coming out raspy and his body betraying him. These were the young boys he looked after when he was going to school, boys who were very recently his students. He shouldn't be humming with need from their demonstration, “Fili, Kili, wha-”

Kili cut off Bilbo with a sharp bite to the shoulder, “Don't you dare ever look at someone like that again.”

“Nobody but us, no one.” Fili hissed, both their eyes shining with tears. Barely paying attention to Bilbo's pushing hands, “We thought you knew, we thought you knew.”

Bilbo shivered at Fili's broken whisper, the boys burying their faces in his neck and nearly sobbing. Taking deep breaths to calm himself, he looked around the room for any ideas. He was met with quite the sight.

A large card was place on Fili's and Kili's conjoined desks that laid a few inches from his own, the words reading “Love you” in bright pink and red cursive. Little chocolates and his favorite tea in new pristine little coffee mugs, with a note. The words large and messy, obviously hand written, “Go on a date with us? We'll pick you up at seven, we can get coffee.”

“Did you...” Bilbo breathed, his voice failing him as the two young men didn't stop in lavishing their affection to his neck.

“Yes,” Kili breathed, “God, we loved you for years now.”

“Probably since we first met you as children.” Fili pulled back slightly to press a kiss to the smaller man's trembling lips. “When we were fighting all those years ago, and a few months ago, it was over who could have you.”

“We both want you, so much it hurts.” Kili pressed a kiss to Bilbo's lips as well, “You know we don't want to share each other, we just want to share you.”

“Uncle was right you know. When we see you smile at someone else it hurts, it hurts a lot. We, God, we just want to claim you as our own and hide you from the world.”

Kili growled, agreeing with his brother, “You're too perfect, everyone will try to steal you away.”

Flabbergasted, Bilbo sat there with a flopping jaw. His mind running over everything that had ever happened between the three of them, “You- you, the whole time?”

“Yes,” The two answered in unison.

“Why?”

“Do you remember the promise you made when we first met,” Fili and Kili spoke together, an obviously practiced line, “You promised you would stay with us forever and never leave us?”

Bilbo didn't get the chance to even respond before the two ducked down, their knees balancing them over Bilbo's thighs, “Because we do, and we won't let you go without a fight.”

Kili went forward, his kiss more controlled than the desperate one from before. His hands framing the smaller man's face as he kissed languidly and slowly, enjoying the taste of their prize's mouth. His lips massaging Bilbo's into response, and sending a tongue to duel with the copper haired man's when the smaller one gasped as Fili bit down hard enough. Pulling back he let his brother have a turn, like before he watched as Fili battled tongues with the smaller man, no jealousy stabbed his heart. Only joy and affection, knowing that they had won, they had Bilbo.

The two of them pulled back, “Now, Mr. Boggins, we were wondering if we could get an A+ in anatomy, we'll show you everything that we know, if you let us take you out tonight.”

Before anyone could even think, Dwalin and Thorin slammed open the wooden door to Bilbo's room. The two's hair, Thorin's, was winded and disheveled, their clothes wrinkled form past activities. Both men huffing from running down the halls, Thorin's deep voice shouting, “Bilbo, Nori called, are you alright? What happened?” Dwalin began to laugh first, while Thorin's jaw dropped, “Are you defiling my nephews?”

“Nope,” Kili laughed.

“We're defiling Bilbo!” Fili finished nipping at the stuttering teacher's ear, the smaller man sandwiched between him and his brother squeaking with a red face.

“Figured it would happen soon.”

“Did everyone know but me?” Bilbo cried.

“I didn't know,” Thorin shouted back, his mind full of images of his nephews defiling one of his best-friends. Trying to clear the images with other things, like a naked Radagast, he shouted in hysteria, “Does your mother know?”

“Yes,” Fili shrugged pointing to the set up in front of Bilbo's desk.

“She even helped us a bit.” Kili grinned, hands massaging Biblo's sides.

Thorin grumbled while Dwalin jokingly stuck out a finger like he hadn't just laughed out a lung, “Now you let these boys treat you nicely, Bilbo, I don't want them crying about a broken heart because you didn't give them a chance.”

Sputtering Bilbo answered without thought, “I never said I didn't want this!” Slapping a hand over his mouth in mortification as the boys grinned, Dwalin proceeded to laugh again, this time possibly really coughing up a lung, and Thorin looked as if he just walked in on his parents having sex. Nori decided now would be a great time to pass by and throw two condoms at him, “No!”

“You don't have to use them right now, I wouldn't recommend it, you know with their uncle and your best-friends standing there.”

Fili and Kili laughed as they cuddled into their Bilbo, their fingers twining with the smaller man's as Bilbo tried to hide into their shoulders. Kissing the blushing history teacher's forehead, the two couldn't help but think that their lives were perfect. They had everything they ever wanted, a family who loved them and Bilbo. The two didn't hide their shouts of joy when a small yes was whispered between them, only loud enough for them to hear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and it's done. Sorry this took so long, didn't know how I was going to do this and then writer's block decided to hang out and everything just didn't want to work.  
> Thank you for reading.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you lovely people for taking a few moments out of your day to read my work, love you all!  
> I'm done with school for the summer so Death is but a loop back to you will be finished soon, I promise.  
> All mistakes are my own!


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